Several years ago, a college friend came to tell me he was a homosexual. “I’m gay. That’s why I divorced Susan and got on with a more honest lifestyle,” he said. “I know the Church condemns homosexuality.” My friend of more than 30 years thought our friendship was over. He was at a loss when I assured him that such was not the case. Even though I could never condone his lifestyle, our friendship remained strong.

Same-sex attraction is a source of great suffering for many men and women who call themselves “gay.” Often misunderstood and rejected by their families and friends, they fear they will not be able to live normal, productive lives. As they retreat into enclaves of like-minded persons, the homosexual subculture provides an apparent safe haven, but it does not really solve the problem.

The Church does not condemn homosexuals or homosexuality. Every person, created in the image and likeness of God, possesses a dignity and worth that demands respect and compassion from one’s brothers and sisters in the human family. While the origins of same-sex attraction are not yet scientifically clear, most of those who are so oriented do not choose this sexual attraction. A man or woman cannot be blamed or condemned merely because he or she experiences such an attraction.

The teaching of the Church is clear: The purpose of all sexual desire and attraction is to draw man and woman together in the bond of marriage. The purposes or ends of marriage are the expression of marital love and the procreation and education of children. By its nature, sexual activity finds its proper fulfillment in the marital bond. Thus, any sexual act that takes place outside this bond is not properly ordered to the authentic end of human sexuality. This includes sexual activity among persons of the same sex as well as nonmarital heterosexual acts. It is sexual activity outside of marriage that the Church declares to be by its very nature sinful.

The Church must condemn homosexual acts because they are contrary to God’s plan expressed in natural law and in divine revelation. The complementarity of man and woman as male and female is inherent in God’s creative design for the human race. “Precisely because man and woman are different, yet complementary, they can come together in a union that is open to the possibility of new life” (“Ministry to Persons with a Homosexual Inclination,” 3, U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops, www.usccb.org).

Yet the Church does not condemn homosexuality in itself. Rather, the Church declares it to be what it is: a disorder contrary to the right ordering of human sexuality. Men and women who experience same-sex attraction are burdened with this disorder, and the Christian community is obliged to support and aid them in their struggle to find their place in the world and within the Church. The Church does not condemn homosexual persons, but only homosexual acts, just as it condemns acts of violence, injustice or greed.

Far from being ostracized from the life of the Church, persons with same-sex attraction are called to live the Christian life to the full, even to the point of exercising heroic virtue. Their participation in the life of the Church, their parish and their neighborhood is crucial for their happiness, their fulfillment and the perfection of Christ’s Church.

Read the Catholic Information Service booklet Same Sex Attraction: Catholic Teaching and Pastoral Practice by Father John Harvey. Father Harvey is the founder of Courage, the only Church-approved organization for Catholics struggling with same-sex attractions.